Category: 2.5 Stars
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Road House
“Nobody ever wins a fight.” Road House (Rowdy Harrington, 1989) Okay, so this movie is ’80s trash, but it’s also highly entertaining. It’s ridiculous, and early on I knew it wouldn’t earn more than 2.5 stars, but I also knew that I was having a blast and wouldn’t stop watching it. There’s gratuitous nudity and…
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Anything for Jackson
“You can’t win a moral argument with me –I’ve made a deal with the devil.” Anything for Jackson (Justin G. Dyck, 2020) Starts out strong and then degenerates into the typical, boring paranormal horror fare. I love the genre because of how malleable it is and how playful you can be with it. This is…
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Elvis
“If I can’t move, I can’t sing.” Elvis (Baz Luhrmann, 2022) I love Baz Luhrmann. I find his filmmaking style so joyous and fun. This film contains many of his trademarks: fantastic flourishes of color, kaleidoscopic effects, endearing camp, and elaborate scene transitions. Unfortunately, this movie is not good. It’s kind of incoherently structured and…
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Synchronic
“The present is a miracle.” Synchronic (Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead, 2019) Entertaining enough. The movie’s biggest shortcoming is that it goes out of its way to explain the rules of its sci-fi element but not in a way that makes any real sense. Like I said before, I’ll watch anything these directors make because…
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Spring
“I understand about half of myself.” Spring (Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead, 2014) I don’t always love Benson and Moorhead’s films, but I’m glad that they keep getting made. They play around with the horror and sci-fi genres in a constructive way, and pretty much always produce a technically well-crafted product. The problem with this…
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Smile
“I’m a PhD candidate, I’m not some lunatic.” Smile (Parker Finn, 2022) The Ring meets It Follows but bad. It gets points for having a solid hook, but it deserved a better script. If you’re susceptible to mainstream horror creepiness or jump scares, then this could be a fun time for you. If you’ve spent…
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Bottle Rocket
“On the run from Johnny Law ain’t no trip to Cleveland.” Bottle Rocket (Wes Anderson, 1996) Anderson’s directorial debut is a fascinating glimpse into the auteur’s ability before he developed the aesthetic and unique visual language that he now employs. It’s not a bad movie, but it’s not really a good movie either. What really…
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Near Dark
“The night has its price.” Near Dark (Kathryn Bigelow, 1987) Very surprising how much better of a filmmaker Bigelow becomes in the four years between this and Point Break. The main problem with the movie is the script, which fails to establish characters let alone develop them, and behaviors get muddled from there. The only…
olde zoetrope 